Denial & Acceptance
Denial is fertile breeding ground for the behaviors we call codependent: controlling, focusing on others, and neglecting ourselves. Whether we try to dominate the people around us, making them do what we want - or we play the submissive role of helplessness, we’re trying to control someone else by playing to their instinct to take care of us, leaving us to never have to take responsibility for our own faults - we’re still trying to run the show and control. Illness and compulsive or addictive behaviors can also emerge during denial.
Denial can be confusing because it resembles sleeping. We’re not really aware we’re doing it until we’re done doing it. Forcing ourselves-or anyone else-to face the truth usually doesn’t help. We won’t face the facts until we are ready. Neither, it seems, will anyone else. We may admit to the truth for a moment, but we won’t let ourselves know what we know until we feel safe, secure, and prepared enough to deal and cope with it.
Talking to friends who know, love, support, encourage and affirm us helps us. Being gentle, loving, and affirming with ourselves helps. Asking ourselves, and asking what we have Faith in to guide us into and through change helps us.
The first step toward acceptance is denial. The first step toward moving through denial is accepting that we may be in denial, and then gently allowing ourselves to move through.
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I ask The Universe, from pug to the air that keeps me breathing, to help me feel safe and secure enough today to accept what I need to accept.